How do you think patterns lead to stress?
Whether people and things around us make us feel stressed and have a lot of irrational patterns of thought, but because these patterns of thought are already part of your habits, you may not be too meaningful.
Use the previously mentioned ABC equation.
A → B → C
The analysis of the thought patterns of events reacts to events
According to this formula, one thing (ie A), even if the terrible and challenging, can not alone constitute pressure (ie C). After the occurrence of a thing (A), we must first be our ideological analysis (ie B), and the analysis method is individual. If this person’s mode of thinking is not rational, after his analysis (B), this matter (A) will trigger the equivalent of pressure (C) experience and reaction. Everyone’s B is different, even if the face of the same A, will produce a different C.
For example, the nurse at work was scolded a few critically ill patients. If you look at this in an irrational mindset, you may think that the patient is ungrateful and therefore reacts violently.
But if the way to think rationally, analysis of the curse of the patient is just symptoms of disease, the feeling will be a lot of calm.
In this chapter, we examine a variety of irrational patterns of thought, hoping to help you change the view of things, so you can use the idea to decompression.
The following are some of the pressure of the ideological model. I will try to use the ABC equation for each thought model to make some common examples of life.Please also see if you have any similar ideas.
When faced with adversity, some people will cross the problem and make the problem worse than it really is. This will make the perceived threat more unprovoked and even feel that it is impossible to deal with it.
A event: the boss is in a bad mood, to your big tantrum.
B analysis: the boss hates me, I will be blocked.
C reaction: feel the disaster will come.
In fact, the boss just made about temper, he still knows your value to the company, never intended to harm you.However, if the mind to the irrational pattern of events to disaster, the days will be very sad.
A event: they are silently failed many times, the teacher sternly scolded.
B Analysis: Do you think your are from school will be a complete failure, the school will be bad elements for.Even the future is also subject to very bad influence.
C reaction: fear of the disaster came to his son, to transfer to escape.
In fact, the son of a step backward is just a siren, and he does not need to think of the worst. This excessively large problem, can not improve the problem, more likely to fuel, causing unnecessary panic and fear.
A incident: company colleagues infected with atypical pneumonia.
B Analysis: I will be infected with SARS, will die.
C: extreme panic Disaster will eat itself.
In fact, colleagues are sick, their chances of being infected are up to two percent. Even if infected with the disease, most will not be fatal, do not fear all day. And extreme panic on the matter not only in help, but also self-defeating.
If you also have a “catastrophic” mindset, the following three self-questions can help you reduce this idea.
Use the above three questions to answer questions to analyze things, you will be able to learn more rational response methods.
Whether people or things, are rarely black and white, and are usually good and bad. If we are accustomed to seeing things as only one-sided good or bad, it will make us lose objectivity and create more pressure.
The thought of “non-black or whitened” people, thinking is actually very simple, very subjective to people and things. Just give him a good impression, this person or thing is completely good, is immaculate. On the contrary, if a person has done a bad thing, is “black and white” characterization, this person will be a bad person, what a bad thing.
A Event: daughter because of small things and grandmother have quarrel.
B Analysis: Grandma to “non-black or white” view the incident, that is, daughter-in-law scolded her outrageous, is bad.
C reaction: the daughter as a big bad man and big unfilial.
In fact, the wife’s heart is still respect for the grandmother and concern. A dispute does not mean that filial daughter does not filial grandmother, but can not say that she is bad, can only say that daughter-in-law temper and accomplishment bad. If we have a “black and white” model of judgment, everything is good, one is bad, then we are likely to be too simple for us to add a lot of trouble and pressure.
Some people will know the facts of the little information, they will begin to infer, and cross the big facts, and further to the fantasy, to scare himself. These people will take a little thing, then use it to infer the overall development of things, and believe it.
Example 1 A Event:
Mary’s boyfriend would rather go to horse than go to her.B Analysis: Mary will be the event “partial generalization” of the inferred to Her husband Friends do not love her.C reaction: Mary was very unhappy, but the boyfriend was inexplicably wonderful.Mary’s “partial” thinking, may eventually make her boyfriend really do not love her, because she is too elusive.
Example II A Event:
Chen Tsai’s boss in front of his colleagues scolded him not doing things carefully.B Analysis: Chen Tsai “partial general” to infer to the boss is determined to withHe insulted him in the face, determined to dismiss him.C response: Chen and night are Worried about being boss quit.In fact, the boss never thought of expulsion Chen Tsai, he has dissatisfaction but also have to appreciate the place, the day I have just called a bad mood.To overcome the “partialization” of thinking, we can ” Ask ourselves “the following questions.Use
The above questions to self-answer, you will find “partial general” conclusion is vulnerable.Jumping to conclusion “Judgment of chaos” is similar to “generalization”, but more outrageous. People with this mode of thinking are very passive. They will take a little bit of information, they will casually unfounded to infer, and to the worst place to think. The characteristic of this mode of thought is that, in the absence of sufficient information, it is possible to draw conclusions and make negative conclusions.
Example 1 A Event:
Your friend did not invite you to a new home party.B Analysis: You “chaos To judge “that your friends hate you, Deliberately do not invite you to shock you.C Reaction: You also feel hatred for your friends.In fact, your friend did not hate you, but the new house to join the party to invite you I do not know the company’s colleagues, so I did not ask you.
Example II A Event:
You cough for a day, but the doctor diagnosed you as “okay.” B analysis: the doctor’s medicine is not enough, broken off error, you are Suffering from atypical pneumonia.C reaction: You feel helpless, panic and fear.Cough, but not high fever, the chance of contracting SARS is not, you “chaos to judge”, will only scare themselves.Disqualifying the positive Thinking mode “negative” People, all things to the worst, but also very lack of confidence in their own, that he is “loser.” The idea of ”negativism” also encompasses two modes of thinking: “maximizing” and “minimizing”.
The “passive” mode of thinking can be described by the “three meanings”: Such people live in the negative all day long. When he is everything, so he has no room to go negative, life can cope. But when it meets any storm, it will completely negate the problem, everything becomes dark.They have the resources to deal with the problem, but after “desalination”, their ability to completely lose confidence.
The problem can be overcome, but after the “big bad”, everything as useless and hopeless, and finally only as their own prediction as a complete failure.Unreasonable requirements (unrealistic expecting) If you are too obsessed with things and you insist on developing You as you wish, you will end up feeling extremely hard. Unless you have a supreme power like the Qian long emperor, your request can not be fulfilled every time. The face of things unhappy development, any person will feel the pressure.
Everything can be done if the best of course, but this is not easy to do. In practical terms, we should try to reduce the number of unreasonable demands on people, because this type of requirements is not easy to achieve, reduces the help of their decompression. This is a customary requirement for the “irrationally demanding” mode of thinking that everything should be “should statements”. In the eyes of such people, all people and all things have their development should be the result. If the end result is not the one that should happen, it will be extremely disappointed.
Example 1 A event:
students disrespectful to the teacher, with a frivolous attitude to speak with the teacher.B Analysis: The teacher “should” of that all students The teacher is very bad.C reaction: the teacher felt very unhappy.In fact, some students have personal problems, their misconduct, but they used to vent dissatisfaction with the method. If we ask all students to “polite” and respect their teachers, it is irrational. This will only make their own unhappy, but will make the relationship between teachers and students worse.
Example II A Event:
Your dad obviously gives your sister more attention.B Analysis: You will be “unreasonable request”, that his father “should” on All children are evenly loved.C Reaction: You have a pedigree for both your father and your sister.Dad on the sister is good, probably because they are more similar personality, but also because of your sister carefully than your father. The feeling is naturally from the heart, there is no “should” this thing.Example IIIA Event:
When he was studying in a foreign country, he sometimes felt rejected because he was a Chinese.B Analysis: Asian strong that all foreigners are not “should” racial discrimination.C Reaction: He feels angry and hostile to foreigners.While racial discrimination is wrong, we can not ask all foreigners to abide by it because it is irrational and impossible to do so. I think it ‘s silly to feel unhappy about something that can not be done.To change this “unreasonable demand” of the ideological model, we asked to reduce the degree of dedication.
Everything can no longer “must” or “should” to do, to “best” or “hope” to do, can not do and no so-called.Students “must” should “respect the teacher,” hope “students” best “can respect the teacher. Father “must” should be fair to all children, changed to “hope” father “best” to treat all children as fair as possible. All foreigners must “not” be discriminated against by racial discrimination, and changed to “hope”.
Most foreigners are “the best” to be free from racial discrimination. To take the doctrine of the mean, do not make unreasonable demands, the pressure will naturally away from you.Can not tolerate the syndrome (can not stand it syndrome)The people of Hong Kong may be living in comfort for too long, so many have a mode of thinking, even a disease, I call it “can not tolerate the syndrome.” With this mode of thinking, the ability to tolerate setbacks is particularly low.
With fewer problems, they will allow themselves to be impatient with them and say things around them to be intolerable. There are two main reasons why they can not tolerate anything. First, they mistakenly thought that it was reasonable to do so because the people around them did it. Second, they can not tolerate what it means to be tolerated.
Example 1 A Event:
Colleagues are late for the meeting.B thought: late is not good, can not tolerate such behavior.C reaction: furious, criticism of my colleagues late.
However, this response is not good, in addition, to making you feel that you and your colleagues and small devices have a mustard, the most important thing is that this reaction will have a more far-reaching impact.Interpersonal relationship between the overall important than a small matter. May be late really can not tolerate, but because of a small matter and a big reaction, and ultimately will affect even other major events. Due to a small loss, the pressure is unnecessary.
People with “intolerable syndrome” are more susceptible to stress because any small thing becomes a beast of stress, and when they meet the traffic jock, they shout “I do not know what they want!” Long queues or restaurant waiter greeted poor neighbors or the manufacture of disturbing noise, will feel intolerable and shouting “I Top Well!” Need to know every time to shout “I do not speak”, the physical and psychological stress reaction has it.To confront “intolerable syndrome”, we have to change our minds.
When we think of the “top not Shun” thing, first “ask you” the following questions.The answers to these questions should help you to get rid of the habit of “top notch” and make people feel more adept at adversity.Can not treat yourself (Negative Self Rating)Some people think that to succeed, they have to raise their own demands.
They will think that they can not be too kind to their own, but to set some difficult to achieve their own standards. Do not cut jade is not a device, this is justified. However, if we ask for too much, to their own long-term requirements are not met, we will create a lot of pressure on their own.The requirements of their own people are too high, have the following characteristics.
Based on the above points, people who can not treat themselves well will set high standards for themselves.They measure the success of the scale, is someone else’s own praise. They will also compare their achievements with others.However, this mode of thinking will bring endless pressure on people.Therefore, it is clear that setting a strict target for your success will help you succeed.
However, you should also pay attention to whether you have some irrational mental models and put a lot of pressure on you.Self-analysis of your thinking patterns after reading so many different types of thought patterns, it is time to analyze whether you have some irrational mental models. The following analysis is a simple procedure, not a professional analysis of the test, but I believe you can still help you in a short period of time to know ourselves, do their own understanding of the mode of thinking. Catastrophizing: in the face of adversity, and the problem across the land to speculate unduly pessimistic, directly caused felt threatened and no one could cope far.Black and albino: person or thing that is seen as a good one is bad.
Just look at the side of people or Ngs, they infer that it is completely good or completely bad.Sweeping: only know things quiet a little bit, they put their enlarged and very pessimistically to imagine, Mang conclusion will be the judge of all knots are the worst.Depolarization: all things are Seen as gloomy and pessimistic. A good news will be diluted. Bad news will be crossed.
Everything is done to the worst.
Unreasonable demands of: for things unreasonably excessive dedication required of all developments are as you might expect, the results and everything seems to require you to think “should” like.The syndrome is not easy: it is easy To “hang on,” do not try to go completely tolerate it.Do not treat yourself: to set their own excessive demands, and with the approval of others and to compare the success of PCT set her loss.If you can effectively Reduce the number of times you use the irrational mental model to analyze problems, I am sure you will be able to avoid a lot of stress.